Honey so sweet~ Shinjite hoshii
Kono sekai ga uso demo~!!



okay, so here's a survey buns made for me ages ago. °-°;; germanz only

 

( insert text for cut link here. )

Kiss me Goodbye into the Night
Like a Phantomrider
I'm dying Tonight

Promises are scratched so deep
Into Your empty seat...

Leave me alone
Phantomriders always die on their own...



So, yeah, here we go again :3. I took the free weekend as an opportunity to dwell in my most nostalgic and melancholic thoughts. So I stayed up late last night to write a message to a certain someone and I'm hoping for some kind of response now... but I don't think I'll be lucky enough to receive one. Still hoping, as there's nothing else I could do anymore :3 ...
(I'd prolly jump out of my 24 stories window anyway if i got an answer, so ... lol.)


Anyways... my life is pretty boring, nothing much is happening here and, yeah... well, university is a bitch °-°;;... I'm spending most of my time in the university buildings these days because my schedule just sucks hardcore. i basically only have the nights and weekends to enjoy myself... if it wasn't for all the... stuff... that needs to be studied. Like vocabulary... latin AND japanese... grammar and kanji and just SO MUCH FSKING STUFF. durrrr.
i managed to survive my first two semesters without big problems, tho... and i hope to be able to keep up the tradition.
many friends i've made over this past year have stopped studying japanese or just didn't manage to pass the exams, and that doesn't exactly make everything more enjoyable... anyways, i still have people to hang around with and to distract me when distraction is needed :3 ...

Noi made a new header for me <3. in case you guys don't know the quote, it's by the famous person called Friedrich Nietzsche. thanks noi <3.
music has become an even more important factor in my life than it already had been in the past... i think i'd go insane if i couldn't drown out all the noise around me on my way through köln... and i regret it very much that i am not able to walk around with my eyes shut constantly. people suck, really.

Maybe lucky~ maybe lucky~
I dare say I'm lucky~


it's been a while since i've had such an exhausting day, really. not physically exhausting, but mentally.

my car was almost being towed away because i hadn't paid the car park guy *rofl*... i was this close to paying a 500euro fee. °^°!!
anyways, after that i was late for university and only barely made it in time.
wish i didn't.
( if you're feeling extremely happy right now, don't read.  )

Freedom comes from your own back
Take your foretold destiny
And toss it away into the sky


Yes.
so i'm not dead, yet xD.
i guess i just took a break from rambling because now i actually have so many ppl around me that are always asking me what's up that i never really felt like writing it down all over again.

anyways, maybe i'll start again, maybe this will remain a lousy attempt at doing so.

i was out visiting some friends today, just talking and generally having a pretty good time. it's been ages since i had the chance to talk to them again, because of some misunderstandings, that i really enjoyed being there. even tho i didn't think i would °^°.

the air is so nice outside tonight that i got off the tram one stop early and walked the rest of the way back to my students dorm. it's been so sweltry all day that now i could just stick my head out of the window and watch the night sky for hours. nice and cool almost-darkness.
tho it kinda seems to be a lot darker outside today than on most other nights. usually there is that orange gloom lingering over the west end of the city... hope i'll be able to sleep.

anyways, university is awaiting me tomorrow morning and all my exams (four this term) are coming up pretty soon... about three weeks. i also have to prepare one presentation and two term papers °^°. so much work - so little motivation.

oh yeah, lately (lol, it's been a couple of months already), i've fallen victom to asian ball jointed dolls, or dollfies how most are calling them. i ordered my first dollfie last new year's eve and he arrived in early march, i believe. he's so awsm x3. i ordered a second one two weeks ago to keep him company x3. it's an expensive new hobby, but i really, really love it °^°.
maybe i'll abuse this lj to post some crappy pictures once he's here xD.

well, i should probably sleep soon. °^°

Alt wie ein Baum möchte ich werden.
Genau wie der Dichter es beschreibt.
Alt wie ein Baum, mit einer Krone,
Die weit, weit über Felder zeigt.

Alle meine Träume fang ich damit ein!
Alle meine Träume...
Zwischen Himmel und Erde zu sein...



Yah well, i'm 21 now :O !! and i can't say that it's any different from being 20, but my 21st birthday was certainly one of the better ones :3.
I got lots of cool presents and did a lot of fun things. i watched "the last unicorn" which never fails to make me cry... and well, i just generally had a very good last week.

I also went to see Twilight (Bis(s) zum Morgengrauen) ... three times. yes, i AM that much of a dork. and i liked it, it was pretty neat. not an omgwtfhWOOT movie, but it was alright :3 ... i enjoyed it enough to watch it three times within one week, after all.
i especially liked japser *-*. he's so fsking awesome, really. i had to try really hard not to squeal like the pathetic little fangirl i am during the baseball scene (which was totally awesome) ... wow, really.
i liked alice a lot, too. she's cute. and rosalie, of course, which is mostly because of her name, but i also like her character.
anyway, what i really didn't like was how kristen stewart portrayed bella... though i liked how she was suffering when james bit her xDD. squirming on the floor :D! edward scared me... robert pattinson is just not beautiful enough D: ...
charlie was even cooler than in the books :o .
i guess, i'm gonna watch it again pretty soon xD. i adore the scene where bella and edward are standing on that huge tree. the music is so pretty.

anyway, i'm still at home right now, but i'm gonna drive to cologne tomorrow morning. D: university is getting hard *lol* ... lots and lots of exams are coming up pretty soon @.@ ... do not want.

i'm keeping myself busy with learning kanji, tho not as much as i probably should. and a very old obsession got me once again: Digimon. as you can see, i guess xD. this time, a huge thank you goes out to nat, for she was so very nice to make this header :3.

i should sleep, i guess @.@. *meeps*

Until we meet again in the dream...

today, for the first time of the year, i heard Last Christmas in a department store. <3 i love that song. well, anyways.... christmas is approaching and like every fucking year i'm stuggling to get all my presents together @.@. i really like giving away presents... but it sucks that i have to be creative about what to give away. bleh.

yeah. köln is still great. i guess it's the only city that has a pet shop named "Gaylord". (i mean, seriously, wth.) and that's gonna be exactly where i'm gonna buy my new pets. two little cute rats :3 . female of course. i'll post pictures, as soon as i get the chance. i'm gonna go buy them on tuesday, if everything works out the way it's planned. :3

( anyways, it's meme time again, bwahaha. )

i hope you guys have a nice advent season.~

Once in a while I complain to myself
Nothing gets done
Nothing's in place

I, I would rather hum

- Post a list of up to 20-25 books/movies/anime/TV shows/video games/etc. that you've had an obsessive fannish love of interest in at some time in your life.
- Have your f-list guess your favorite character from each item.
okay nao, i'm trying to do this chronologically òó! (edit: okay, i failed xD)

1.) Sailor Moon
2.) Pokemon
3.) Digimon
4.) Gundam Wing
5.) Harry Potter
6.) Yu-Gi-Oh!
7.) Virtua Fighter
8.) Soul Calibur
9.) Kingdom Hearts
10.) Tokio Hotel
11.) Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle
12.) Death Note
13.) Ragnarok Online
14.) Cinema Bizarre
15.) Kobato
16.) Lady Oscar
17.) Chronicles of Narnia
18.) Clamp no Kiseki (just to sum up ALL other clamp series xD)
19.) Beyblade
20.) Kyou Kara Maou!
21.) Hikaru no Go
22.) Weiß Kreuz


alright, can't really think of any more fandoms o_o and i had to dig really deep for the last few. but they're all so true *-*... seeing this list gives me a rather nostalgic feeling xD. so now i'm kinda excited if somebody is able to guess all my favourite characters, heh x3.

anyways. studying in cologne is funfunfun :O!! the city is pretty and everybody's nice <3~ ! i'm gonna stay here for the next three weeks after i went home last weekend to cuddlehug my cat <3.

sheeesh o___ô! must.learn.katakana.

Come on and lay it down
I've always been with You
Hear me now!
With all that's within You
Be my Saviour
And I'll be your Downfall...


so my first week in cologne is finally over and i'd have to lie to say that i wasn't impressed. because i am. very, very impressed indeed. by pretty much everything here.
university was fun for the most part, i met some great people and since it was the first week, there wasn't a terrible lot to do. fortunately, heh.
i'm desperately trying to memorize the hiragana right now (taking a break obviously) and it's really hard... T-T a girl from my japanese language course told me that she was translating japanese lyrics from romaji into hiragana to learn them, so that's what i've been doing for the last two hours or something... i got two of my favourite songs translated and it's a lot more fun than just trying to learn them on realkana.com @.@ (which sucks.) ... ANYWAY ò.ó i'll try hard and not give up~~!! there's gonna be a test on tuesday X___x ... *flops*

as for my english studies... grammar and phonetics are pretty boring... especially my introductory phonetics course, because that tutor is just... someone that makes me want to run away and cry in a corner. T-T
canadian poetry and reading middle english on the other hand are very interesting an fun.
and then there's of course my creative writing class which was awesome *___* i'm looking forward to this week's meeting x3~~!

but of course, cologne is more than just university... so i went exploring today. bad choice. because today cologne's soccer team had a game and the subway was PACKED with stupid boys shouting stupid songs and things and stuff @.@ ... so i was happy once i was able to leave the subway again... irks. honestly. too many people, too much alcohol, too little space @____@...
but after i got out i went to the city's cemetery, which is SO pretty, really. it's surrounded by a big wall and lots of iron fences and it's really quiet and peaceful in there... you don't hear a single car rushing by or anything... all you hear is the wind and all you see is the beautiful scenery, pretty sculptures, jumping squirrels and the rays of the setting sun shining through the leafes of huge trees <3.
it's not at all a morbid or sad place, in my opinion... it's more like a park but without the screaming kids... at first i planned to take pictures, but when i entered the gates, the atmosphere just overwhelmed me and i couldn't bring myself to do it... it didn't feel right.
anyway, it's definitely a place i'll be visiting a lot in the future. x3 i want to come back there when it's really dark outside because then it will be even more beautiful with all the red candles burning <3. (omg, i'm sounding like some emo-goth-thing @.@ meez.)

anyway!! the cemetery closed at seven, so i had to spend the rest of the day somewhere else... in the center of the city, yay. i went to a bookstore (a big bookstore, wth.) and got myself something to read x3. and i went to get dinner and after that headed back home.

cologne is very pretty, i think... tomorrow i want to go and do some of the touristy stuff... visit the dome and all those other monuments <3.


my tv is broken D:!!!! ... which is why i'm listening to music more often these days. matchbox 20's downfall is awesome *-* *points at the lyrics above* ... and i downloaded the tsubasa chronicle character image songs *____* kurogane's singing voice is HILARIOUS. xD and mokona is so adorable >o<!! ... and also, thanks to benny-bunny, i got myself a quite large collection of tsubasa rc doujinshis *____*~ they're all so pretty *-*~! 

i guess that's it for today :O ... i'm gonna go back to studying hiragana now and maybe writing something later~ <3

I wanted to see something that's different, something you said would change in me.
Wanted to be, anything different, everything you would change in me.

Got this way, upfront but never true.
God I'm wrong, it's just the way I am.
Crashing down, any chance you hear.
Caving in, any chance that you, could see inside of me.
And I don't know what to say, It's fine.
This isn't Hollywood.




... yes, OMG! 

it'll finally start tomorrow morning at 10!! my first official lecture at the university of cologne °-°!! and it's gonna be english - phonetics. (whooho, yeah, interestiiiinnng~~ °-°v)  and after that my first japanese language course~ *____*~ ... and last but not least canadian poetry :O!
i'm excited x3.
i hope everything's gonna be fine, really. i'm a little worried that something might go wrong... (e.g. i get lost in cologne/the university building or i fall down the stairs or something equally stupid/mey-ish... ^^;; )

and also, i registered for a creative writing class today x3. it's gonna be in the late thursday evenings and i'm really, really looking forward to it~.
i'm being more creative these days, as well... writing stuff and drawing stuff. it seems that as soon as there is some hard work approaching, i find so many different things to do just to avoid that work xDD. BUT i will study hard òó!! (hopefully)


anyways... my room in the 24th story of the apartment complex is never really getting dark at nights... because all the street lights and passing cars are always drowning the room in fading orange light. it's quite nice, because where there is no darkness, i don't have to be afraid of it, hehe ^___^v!


currently i'm reading clamp's kobato (see avatar <3) and i really, really like it <3. they changed their style a little once again and i absolutely adore the chibis~ x3!! next up is gonna be tokyo babylon again, because i want to find out more about this seishiro/subaru thing :O!! 

okay, nuff senseless babbling, i should smeep :O!! have to get up early tomorrow, because i'm meeting up with a friend x3! *runs and hides under blankie*

Once upon a Time
I was falling in Love
Now I'm only falling apart

Nothing I can do
A total Eclipse of the Heart...



Yah, what should I say? It's been a long time since my last entry. Lots of stuff happened, but i'm too lazy to write it all down... but i thought i should blog again.
but there's really not much to say. i'm moving to cologne... university is gonna start on monday and i'm pretty excited. japanese and english studies, we'll see~ ...

rite now i'm feeling a little strange... i had so much fun since i got back from america and there was so much to do all the time... i got to see all my friends again and everything was fine...
now, i'm feeling that a new part of my life is starting... everything's kinda blurry and... i don't know how to put it... maybe "lovelorn" is the right word to describe my current state. i don't feel capable of anything, of any real and true feeling.

okay, that sounds really depressed now, but it's not that bad xD. it's just a state i'm in and that will go by sooner or later. (hopefully sooner than later, tho.)


anyways, i'm excited and looking forward to the next part of my life~ <3.